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Sex scene
Hi,
I’m trying to write a realistic sex scene, but I don’t know how to approach it. Are there any useful resources out there? I have been looking but I can’t get it in my bones. Stupid I know🫣 My characters have just reconnected after time apart.
All help gratefully received. When I eventually get it down I’ll post it on peer to peer.
Cheers Sue
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17 Replies
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I’ve just been reading this, which links to several other resources: https://emmadarwin.substack.com/p/ten-s-about-writing-sx
And there’s this: https://kjcharleswriter.com/2022/09/06/lets-talk-about-sex-scenes/
Hope this gives you a start! The best advice is to read some good sex scenes, though.
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Hi Jenny,
Thank you so much. I will check this out.
Sue X
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An intimate scene demands that we get intimate. That is to say, the first thing is to have the POV very clear. Whose experience is it. When one is clear about whose experience we are dealing with we can get inside the character and describe that experience, no holds barred (excuse the cliche . . . but it fits). Allow yourself to say anything and base much of it on your own experiences. Allow yourself to do that. Get back in touch with that. Get into your own ‘bones.’ Get personal and get steamy, gal ! Unlock what you got.
My problem is with fight scenes, how to describe the movement, the ballet of a fight. Only I don’t want to get into one personally to gather the experience, thank you. 😍
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This reply was modified 6 months, 1 week ago by
Paul Davidson.
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Hi Paul,
Thank you, you are so right. I just need to transport myself there; I’m not dead yet! 😂 I will post it on peer to peer when I’ve written it as I’ve had some great feedback over the years.
As for the fight scene. I wrote one not so long ago, if you go into my history you will see the very useful comments I got. Hopefully they will be helpful.
This is what I’ve ended up with so far. (Fight scene)
Nancy tosses her bag on the kitchen counter. Alice’s house is great, but nothing beats home. She opens the high gloss cupboards to stack her groceries, enjoying the familiarity after staying in someone else’s home. The sunlight moves across the cupboard door as it swings open. She stiffens; there’s another shadow. Nancy turns. “Who the fuck are you?”
A slightly built man is standing on the other side of the counter.
Blood rushes to her head, her ears thump to her erratic heartbeat.
She throws the jar of olives she’s holding at him. He dodges it and moves around the counter towards her.
“Piece of shit!” She screams.
Her sweaty hands lunge for her knife block, but he’s quick and grabs her hair. Pain shoots through her head as he drags her back.
Motherfucker, who the hell is this guy?
He lets go of her hair and grabs her shoulders, spinning her around. He lifts her off her feet by her jaw and pins her against the fridge. Shit, he’s strong. She kicks her legs out, but they scarcely connect with him, as he jumps back, keeping the pressure on her jaw. She glimpses his light blue eyes. A green snood covers his face.
“Hello Nancy.”
His grip slackens slightly. She sinks her teeth into his hand, shaking her head like a rabid dog. Son of a bitch.
He yelps and tries to drag his hand back. She claws at his face, but he swerves. His fist lands on the side of her head. The pain shoots behind her eyes, blurring her vision. She lets go of his hand and holds his blood in her mouth. Breathing slowly through her nose. Every muscle in her body tightens.
“Fucking bitch,” he grabs her throat.
She punches him square in the chest.
“Bitch.” He squeezes her windpipe with both hands. Her eyes water.
Nancy punches him again and shoves hard so his back is against the worktop. She spits the blood onto the counter and splays her fingers; the tip knocks her bag to the floor. Her radio falls next to a cabinet, her gun slides across the floor. Too late, she sees the syringe. She feels the tip of a needle scratch her neck. Motherfucker. Lifting her leg, she knees him hard in the balls.
He lets her go and falls to the floor, grunting. Adrenaline pumps through her system; she clambers away from him. He grips her ankle just as she presses the button on the side of her radio. He scrambles up, holding his balls, and kicks her in the stomach. “See you soon, bitch.”
She lies there and watches as his feet leave, trying to get her breathing under control; aware she is fading fast. Blackness cloaks her.
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Interesting read.
I found it hard to follow at first, as the violence jumped in so quickly. If this man is a stranger to her and had intent on hurting her, you might want to elaborate on that more, before she throws a jar of pickles at him. It came across quite confronting, and confusing.
The comment about seeing his blue eyes and green snood on his face, should be with the sentence, where she first see’s him. That would give the reader, the chance to realize, the man is there to hurt her, and then understand why she has gone into defense mode, throws something at him, and lunges for the knife, might help to build the scene better.
But that is just my thoughts, build the scene and the tension, then let the fight begin.
I hope she survives the attack. 🙂
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Hi Karen,
Thanks for your input. I totally agree about the eyes and snood. I have some work to do!
Wasn’t Paul’s rewrite good?
I will re post on peer to peer when it’s finished along with the sex scene. I appreciate all the advice I get on JW.
Cheers Sue.
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This reply was modified 6 months, 1 week ago by
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My advice is reread sex scenes that worked for you in books you remember enjoying. Now that you’re a writer yourself, you can analyse what that author did which was successful. For me, the best sex scenes don’t go into minute anatomical detail. Everyone knows what goes where and too much information about bodies can be a turn-off. Some writers portray relationships beautifully without ever writing a sex scene. I challenge you to find anything graphic in the collected works of the great Margaret Atwood for example.
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Thank you, Bridget,
That is very sound advice.
Cheers Sue
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Hi Susan. I thought I might try to rewrite the fight scene, just as an exchange of ideas (no intention whatsoever to use it). I hope you don’t mind. Anyhow, here it is, attached. Feel free to use or ignore it as you wish and best wishes for your writing.
Paul
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Hi Paul,
Thank you so much for doing this. I need all the help I can get lol 😂🫤 I’m aware that my writing is stripped back and needs more. I love some of your ideas and this scene definitely needs attention. I totally agree there needs to be more of a reaction when the attacker says Nancy’s name.
Nancy is actually a cop and pressing the button on the side of her radio will send in the troops. I’m not sure if you picked up on the fact that she is a cop.
I’m going to work on it next week. I’ll email it back to you if you like? Don’t worry if you don’t have the time to look again. I totally get it. My email is:
Thanks again for being so generous with your time.
Sue
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Hope you don’t mind me reading your version, but dang, you have a knack with words. Well done. Read well, lots of description, things I need to learn too.
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This content has been hidden as the member is suspended.
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This content has been hidden as the member is suspended.
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This content has been hidden as the member is suspended.
