Jericho Writers Townhouse | Perfect your pitch | Activity

Ceresse Gardner posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Would love some feedback on the elevator pitch for my novel, […]

Wed, 05 Mar 2025 01:06:49 +0000

Would love some feedback on the elevator pitch for my novel, Dare She Trust [action thriller]:

Bellamy Sherif has only two months to achieve a positive outcome. She is desperate and in love with him … but can she trust him with her children’s lives?

Or is this one better?

Bellamy Sherif has only two months to achieve a positive outcome. Harris…

LINDA NICKLIN posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Any comments on this would be greatly appreciated, […]

Mon, 03 Feb 2025 14:14:37 +0000

Any comments on this would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

Tom and his brother John’s long awaited New Year’s Eve takes a sinister turn when they witness a brutal police attack on a soup kitchen. They ask questions and framed by the police and hounded by the press they run for their lives. They find safety on a disused oil rig in the North Sea whe…

Barbara Perkins posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: I got an email and im trying to comment but cant get yo the […]

Thu, 09 Jan 2025 20:13:12 +0000

I got an email and im trying to comment but cant get yo the entry i want yo comment on

Julie Hession posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Thanks for the previous feedback suggesting the pitch was […]

Thu, 09 Jan 2025 17:49:34 +0000

Thanks for the previous feedback suggesting the pitch was too vague and the helpful suggestions.

Any thoughts on these attempts, please?

It’s a women’s commercial/saga, not a thriller.

Liv pins all her hopes on meeting the father she never knew but when he dies, her life can never be the same again.

Liv searches for the father she never knew only…

Julie Hession posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: I welcome your thoughts and comments on this pitch, please. […]

Tue, 07 Jan 2025 13:10:21 +0000

I welcome your thoughts and comments on this pitch, please. Bridge of Knowing is a women’s commercial novel. Thank you.

A phone call, out of the blue hits at the heart of Liv’s identity, and as her life intertwines with a stranger, Felicity, they must learn to trust each other or lose everything.

Penny Lapenna posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Elevator pitch...If your daily life was torture, what dream […]

Fri, 06 Dec 2024 15:11:05 +0000

Elevator pitch…

If your daily life was torture, what dream world would you live in?

On an island, a boy explores the natural world. In a small house, a mother is confined by her choices. A man is grieving – for a lost child or his lost childhood.

Only a global pandemic can make them face each other.

Does this even work in any way???

judith Deveson posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Just tried to reply to Bridget, but it didn't post - so […]

Fri, 06 Dec 2024 15:10:33 +0000

Just tried to reply to Bridget, but it didn’t post – so I’ll try this:

Thanks so much for replying! I’m going to find it so difficult to make a pitch snappy enough – the complications in my novel always come sweeping into my brain and freezing my thought processes! (And totally irrelevantly, I’ve just realized I’ve manage to upload half a face for…

judith Deveson posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: I joined Jericho Writers a couple of days ago, and I'm just […]

Fri, 06 Dec 2024 14:24:11 +0000

I joined Jericho Writers a couple of days ago, and I’m just trying to find my way around. I’m not quite ready to put my pitch out for critiques as I’m still revising the novel, but I think it will be really valuable to read other pitches and look at critiques.

Kate Zagoskina posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Hi :),I'm new, and I was wondering if I could get any […]

Tue, 12 Nov 2024 22:42:27 +0000

Hi :),

I’m new, and I was wondering if I could get any thoughts on a pitch attempt? Any thoughts are massively appreciated!

Title: Pietas
Genre: Historical Fiction
DNA: Sons of Murdered General + Ex-Pirate Slave + Civil War + Internal struggle between duty, freedom, and the cost of both.

Pitch: When Pompey the Great is violently murdered, it thrusts…

Ollie Mawdsley posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: I'm submitting to agents on Monday, and I was just hoping […]

Thu, 05 Sep 2024 13:15:38 +0100

I’m submitting to agents on Monday, and I was just hoping that I might be able to get some last-minute feedback on my one-line blurb and longer pitch. As always, thanks in advance for your time and opinions.

TITLE

Pantoland

FEEL

Pantoland is a standalone book-club novel with series potential, complete at 108,000 words. Using a mixture of scripts,…

Susan Turner posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Okay, another go at my pitch for The Soul Corruptor. I would […]

Mon, 26 Aug 2024 16:14:15 +0100

Okay, another go at my pitch for The Soul Corruptor. I would be ever so grateful for any comments.

Twin brothers are summoned to the Afterlife: one to serve the Devil, the other to rescue him and thwart the Devil’s plan.

Angela Cort posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Hi all. Ok... Yet again I would be grateful for any […]

Sat, 10 Aug 2024 17:30:58 +0100

Hi all. Ok… Yet again I would be grateful for any opinions…

Short Version… One woman – two love stories, with betrayal, death and a mental breakdown in between. (13 words)

short version… This is the story of a young woman’s struggle when her husband abandons her, the death of a child, and losing her mind. (23 words…

Brian McMahon Gallagher posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Hiya,I've just finished my first attempt at my pitch for a […]

Fri, 09 Aug 2024 12:11:35 +0100

Hiya,

I’ve just finished my first attempt at my pitch for a 70k teen dystopian novel. Would really appreciate any feedback:

PITCH

We all have Time; the young have more of it, but what if the old took it from them?

SUMMARY

On an abandoned Earth where Time is discovered to be eternal, young people are being used as batteries; fatially harnessing their…

Susan Turner posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Thanks everyone for your comments. Considering them and […]

Sun, 04 Aug 2024 15:49:38 +0100

Thanks everyone for your comments. Considering them and trying to keep it punchy as you say, what about this version?

Twin brothers are summoned to the Afterlife: one to be corrupted by the Devil, the other to attempt his rescue and save the world from the Devil’s design.

Susan Turner posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Hi everyone.I'm trying a new take on my pitch for my adult […]

Fri, 02 Aug 2024 23:35:13 +0100

Hi everyone.

I’m trying a new take on my pitch for my adult fantasy The Soul Corruptor. Which is preferable? I would really appreciate any comments.

Six,
a small group to avoid the Nukpana army, traverse the Afterlife to rescue one
from the Devil and save the world. Numbers dwindling, their sacrifices may be
in vain.

Twin brothers are summoned to…

Rose Blakeney posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: How about the following?:In Victorian Yorkshire, a […]

Thu, 18 Jul 2024 14:26:34 +0100

How about the following?:

In Victorian Yorkshire, a strong-minded boy fights family ridicule and expectation to achieve a musical career.

Rose Blakeney posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: The Lad From RavenwickAfter doing a recent re-edit, I ‘m t […]

Mon, 15 Jul 2024 15:21:32 +0100

The Lad From Ravenwick

After doing a recent re-edit, I ‘m thinking of sending the above novel to a few independent publishers and would like any comments on my pitch:

An ambitious lad in mid-Victorian Yorkshire fights opposition and circumstance to achieve his aim.

Is it snappy enough?

Kathy Goddard posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Here’s another attempt at a pitch for Blood Bound - genre t […]

Mon, 15 Jul 2024 13:13:53 +0100

Here’s another attempt at a pitch for Blood Bound – genre to be decided. I originally thought psychological suspense but it might be better placed as commercial or book club fiction…🤔.

The background, for those of you who aren’t aware of it, is that the daughter, Ettie, was abducted by the cult leader (unaware that he was her grandfather). After…

Gianna posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Any input on the summary for the query letter would be […]

Sun, 14 Jul 2024 19:26:43 +0100

Any input on the summary for the query letter would be greatly appreciated. Title: Blame the Fortune Teller. Literary fiction, dark comedy. This is the umpteenth version. I’m finding it difficult to get right.

Pitch:

The fortune teller senses champagne and a mysterious stranger. Then Ivy picks three death cards when there should only be one in t…

billhughes749 hughes posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Hello, trying to sharpen up an elevator pitch and would […]

Thu, 11 Jul 2024 10:55:28 +0100

Hello, trying to sharpen up an elevator pitch and would welcome input, trying to get to the ‘tell me more’ place.

Title: The Tennis Club Oath.

Genre: Commercial fiction

Pitch 1) “Sell the club? Over my dead body!” exclaims lifetime member John Burton.

I like that one because a) the issue, what the story’s all about, will the club be sold or not, is…

Gianna posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: I’d be very grateful for kind input on which of these w […]

Thu, 11 Jul 2024 09:44:30 +0100

I’d be very grateful for kind input on which of these works better. Novel is literary fiction, dark comedy.

The fortune teller predicts champagne and a mysterious stranger, but it all goes downhill when Ivy picks three death cards: there should only be one in the pack.

It appears crafty Ivy’s knocked off her Italian husband and…

Megan Brebner posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Bryony, falls in love with a handsome stranger. Now someone […]

Thu, 11 Jul 2024 08:43:30 +0100

Bryony, falls in love with a handsome stranger. Now someone is trying to kill her.

Joergen Raa posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Hello everyone,I’m struggling with the pitch and the blurb f […]

Mon, 08 Jul 2024 14:54:08 +0100

Hello everyone,

I’m struggling with the pitch and the blurb for my middle grade novel about a featherlight boy.

I would very much appriciate your feedback.

Thank you so much.

PITCH:

A featherlight boy drifts with the wind to surreal locations until an eccentric lord gives him hope of finding his way back home – but an unscrupulous man hired to tra…

Angela Cort posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Or a very Short Version… One woman - two love s […]

Wed, 26 Jun 2024 12:36:27 +0100

Or a very Short Version… One woman – two love stories.

short version… A heartbreaking story of a young woman’s struggle when shame is imposed on her by society.

or longer, but shorter than the other…

Following the death of her child an abandoned
wife suffers a nervous breakdown and must fight for her remaining child… Read more

Angela Cort posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Ok, here I go again. Any advice will be welcome.'Helen's […]

Wed, 26 Jun 2024 12:16:42 +0100

Ok, here I go again. Any advice will be welcome.

‘Helen’s world shatters when the husband she adores abandons her, leaving her and their children destitute. Amidst a cholera outbreak in the early 20th century slums, her youngest dies, and Helen suffers a mental breakdown. Committed to a workhouse asylum and stripped of her remaining children—one t…

Ollie Mawdsley posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Hi everyone, thanks so much for the brilliant feedback over […]

Tue, 25 Jun 2024 21:39:27 +0100

Hi everyone, thanks so much for the brilliant feedback over the last week. I’ve taken it all on board and given it another few goes. Is there one that works better than others? I worry they’re all still too long, but hopefully at least one of them works! Thanks in advance for your help again.

“Freya’s first professional acting job in Dick W…

Angela Cort posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Here is yet another try. Any comments would be gratefully […]

Tue, 25 Jun 2024 10:24:59 +0100

Here is yet another try. Any comments would be gratefully received as I’m all ready to send out to agents… except for my pitch!

This is a tale of love and unyielding courage set against the backdrop of the early 20th century and World War I. Helen’s
journey from heartbreak and betrayal to resilience and redemption will
captivate readers and l…

Angela Cort posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: OK, I know this is too long... but HELP? Set in the early […]

Mon, 24 Jun 2024 12:08:30 +0100

OK, I know this is too long… but HELP?

Set in the early 20th century, this evocative story follows a young woman navigating societal shame and oppression as she battles for dignity and self-worth. Her family’s varied forms of love and support become her greatest strengths helping to reveal the power of resilience and the true meaning of love.

Steve Allright posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Giving this another shot. Thanks again, everyone.Joe, a […]

Fri, 21 Jun 2024 07:17:12 +0100

Giving this another shot. Thanks again, everyone.

Joe, a youth with a violent past, is turning his life around, with the help of posh eco-terrorist Mary. But Mary’s possessive brother knows the secrets linking their fathers and how to use them to ruin Joe. Joe’s mother has the answers he needs to fight back, but can he reach them before her…

Kathy Goddard posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: I'm still struggling with my pitch for Blood Bound (also […]

Thu, 20 Jun 2024 13:50:55 +0100

I’m still struggling with my pitch for Blood Bound (also questioning the genre, which I originally said was psychological suspense – but I’m now thinking is more a Jodi Picoult than a Lisa Jewell).

To give the backstory, Ettie has been left in a coma after an abduction attempt by her unknown grandfather. He is the leader of an ultra religious cult…

Ollie Mawdsley posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Hi there, I'm new to Jericho Writers and I'm preparing to […]

Wed, 19 Jun 2024 11:47:24 +0100

Hi there, I’m new to Jericho Writers and I’m preparing to send off my first novel, Pantoland, to agents in the autumn. I’m struggling to create a pitch that’s both accurate and exciting, so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Here’s my pitch as it stands at the moment:

“When Freya embarks on her first professional acting job in panto,…

Steve Allright posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Here I go again. I'm nothing if not persistent. Here's […]

Sun, 16 Jun 2024 17:03:02 +0100

Here I go again. I’m nothing if not persistent. Here’s another go. Maybe it’s too long? Apologies or thanks in advance:

Joe is growing up to be a horrible reminder of his father. Through him, his mother is reliving arguments with the man who abandoned them both. To understand and repair his relationship with her, Joe must know more about his…

Steve Allright posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: With special thanks to Tracey Montague (you're a diamond!), […]

Sat, 15 Jun 2024 20:57:27 +0100

With special thanks to Tracey Montague (you’re a diamond!), I’ve continued to work on my pitch and here is my latest effort. As always, I’d be grateful for any feedback/comments. I’ve been enjoying this process. Thank you all.

Political gossip. Two families. An obituary. A funeral. Joe’s mother knows the truth but won’t disclose what links these…

Steve Allright posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: I'm giving this another go:Political gossip. Threats to […]

Fri, 14 Jun 2024 12:25:22 +0100

I’m giving this another go:

Political gossip. Threats to silence. An obituary. A funeral. Joe’s mother is keeping secrets but he knows there’s a link between his missing father and a dead man.

Thanks in advance (you guys are great!)

Victoria Manthorpe posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Still confusing. What is the relation of the dead man to […]

Thu, 13 Jun 2024 13:34:40 +0100

Still confusing. What is the relation of the dead man to McGuire? And I agree with the comment about the daughter.

These pitches are really difficult to master. Maybe try focusing on the motivations of your protagonist.

Steve Allright posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: I'm giving this another go, with thanks to the members who […]

Thu, 13 Jun 2024 12:25:31 +0100

I’m giving this another go, with thanks to the members who offered feedback on my previous effort.

A dead man’s enduring influence over Joe Maguire’s life challenges him to uncover family secrets lost to the repercussions of his mother’s Alzheimer’s. Romance with a grieving daughter doesn’t provide the easy answers he hoped for.

Again, thanks in advance.

Steve Allright posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Hi, everyone.Newbie to the forum here, testing the waters. […]

Wed, 12 Jun 2024 20:29:30 +0100

Hi, everyone.

Newbie to the forum here, testing the waters. Any feedback or comments on my elevator pitch would be very welcome. For a little context, mine’s a coming of age novel, set against the backdrop of breadline Britain in the 1990s and the toxic masculinity of the new millennium:

A dead man’s reach over Joe Maguire’s life challenges him to…

Julie Hession posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: How about this? As two strangers mourn the same man their […]

Sun, 12 May 2024 16:30:37 +0100

How about this?

As two strangers mourn the same man their outwardly perfect lives become intertwined and both women must lose more to find where they belong.

Victoria Manthorpe posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: How about this.....A love-sick archivist’s lamentations t […]

Sun, 12 May 2024 13:05:20 +0100

How about this…..

A love-sick archivist’s lamentations trigger the reappearance of a Victorian ghost still angry with his wife and ready to make trouble for all and sundry during the busiest week of the year at a famous gothic pile.

Victoria Manthorpe posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: trying again:Nikki, a love-sick archivist, is caught in a […]

Sat, 11 May 2024 18:02:40 +0100

trying again:

Nikki, a love-sick archivist, is caught in a tangle of passions at a gothic pile that is steeped in betrayal. The only ‘ever after’ is a vengeful ghost.

probably still too long but any comments gratefully received

Victoria Manthorpe posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Hi Any feedback on this pitch would be appreciated, […]

Wed, 08 May 2024 14:23:00 +0100

Any feedback on this pitch would be appreciated, please:

Crack-up or cut-out: love-sick for her ex and tormented by a vengeful ghost, it’s a tangled week for Nikki at the famous gothic pile.

Julie Hession posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: I welcome comments on this draft elevator pitch for Women's […]

Mon, 06 May 2024 12:36:29 +0100

I welcome comments on this draft elevator pitch for Women’s contemporary dual perspective please.

One man dies leaving Felicity adrift and Liv looking for answers. The two women meet as strangers as they struggle with the shame that binds them.

Thank you.

Michie Shaw posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Here is the opening to my query letter and which is also my […]

Mon, 06 May 2024 00:37:15 +0100

Here is the opening to my query letter and which is also my elevator pitch. I was advised by a literary agent to put it at the top of my query letter. So that's what I've done for now! What do you think?

Susan Turner posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Hi everyone. I would really appreciate any feedback on my […]

Wed, 24 Apr 2024 18:13:27 +0100

Hi everyone. I would really appreciate any feedback on my pitch(es) for my dark fantasy story Soul Corruptor.

Twin brothers are summoned to the Afterlife; one to be corrupted by the Devil, the other to attempt his rescue. OR

Subservient
Fynn, twin brother Thane’s shadow, is trapped in the Afterlife, unable to
return until he either rescues Thane f…

Steve Webster posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Hi everyone, just in the process of sending out a few query […]

Mon, 22 Apr 2024 16:25:41 +0100

Hi everyone, just in the process of sending out a few query letters and just working on a pitch. The manuscript is a suspense/thriller.

This is a first pass:

How far would you go for a friend? Pete Stone risks all and lifts the veil on a secretive, global crime network.

Been batting a few ideas around so it would be useful to get a slightly different…

sheila-crosby Crosby posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Hello everyone. I'm working on my pitch for a thriller, […]

Fri, 19 Apr 2024 09:17:24 +0100

Hello everyone. I’m working on my pitch for a thriller, Death Under Dark Skies, set in an astronomical observatory.

Fizle (Elizabeth) Sagar posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: Taking on board Harry’s appraisal of my previous elevator p […]

Thu, 18 Apr 2024 16:06:32 +0100

Taking on board Harry’s appraisal of my previous elevator pitch, this is the new one I’ve come up with. Almost looks like two different stories. I’ve removed any reference to a song. What does anyone think?

Previous pitch:

A drunken mistake
catapults a charismatic singer and bare-knuckle fighter away from his family
and the Lancashire cotton famin…

Victoria Manthorpe posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: At a famous stately home,Nikki, a love-sick archivist, is […]

Thu, 18 Apr 2024 10:45:26 +0100

At a famous stately home,Nikki, a love-sick archivist, is snared between her ex and a vengeful ghost. She faces cracking-up from a broken heart or being haunted out of her mind.

This is a comic novel but I don’t seem to have that element in the pitch. Any ideas, please?

Julie Hession posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: I'd appreciate your comments on this pitch for my completed […]

Thu, 04 Apr 2024 14:54:28 +0100

I’d appreciate your comments on this pitch for my completed Women’s Contemporary Uplit Novel told from two perspectives.~Thankyou.

When one man needs to die for two women to live.

Liv has it all. A successful business, a baby on the way, a devoted husband. But when her baby’s stillborn, her façade crumbles. She heads to a remote Cornish hamlet se… Read more

Barbara Perkins posted an update in the group Perfect your pitch: I'm almost ready to seek an agent for my novel, WHISPERS […]

Wed, 03 Apr 2024 14:07:20 +0100

I’m almost ready to seek an agent for my novel, WHISPERS FROM THE PAST, but I need an elevator pitch that represents my whole story of two protagonists and a dual time period: 1910 and 1994. I’ve written and rewritten a pitch dozens of times. Does this one do the trick? Your comments will be appreciated.

Anna’s journey from survival to r…