Hi Karen,

Thanks for your input. I totally agree about the eyes and snood. I have some work to do!

Wasn’t Paul’s rewrite good?

I will re post on peer to peer when it’s finished along with the sex scene. I appreciate all the advice I get on JW.

Cheers Sue.

Hi Paul,

Thank you so much for doing this. I need all the help I can get lol 😂🫤 I’m aware that my writing is stripped back and needs more. I love some of your ideas and this scene definitely needs attention. I totally agree there needs to be more of a reaction when the attacker says Nancy’s name.

Nancy is actually a cop and pressing the button on…

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Thank you, Bridget,

That is very sound advice.

Cheers Sue

Hi Paul,

Thank you, you are so right. I just need to transport myself there; I’m not dead yet! 😂 I will post it on peer to peer when I’ve written it as I’ve had some great feedback over the years.

As for the fight scene. I wrote one not so long ago, if you go into my history you will see the very useful comments I got. Hopefully they will be…

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Hi Jenny,

Thank you so much. I will check this out.

Sue X

Hi,

I’m trying to write a realistic sex scene, but I don’t know how to approach it. Are there any useful resources out there? I have been looking but I can’t get it in my bones. Stupid I know🫣 My characters have just reconnected after time apart.

All help gratefully received. When I eventually get it down I’ll post it on peer to peer.

Cheers Sue

Hi Laure,

Thank you for your detailed feedback as always it’s very helpful. I’m sure I will be able to get a gripping fight scene written.

Thanks again

Sue X

Hi Libby,

Once again your advice is invaluable. I’m going to sit in Nancy’s house and have a good look around! And of course you’re right she is trained but I’m not sure how she would react on a personal level when attacked in her own home. I need to work on this aspect a bit more.

Thanks again for your very useful comments.

Sue

Should’ve gone to Specsavers!

Hi Rod. I do apologise for getting your name wrong 😟

Hi Rob,

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment on my scene. Your comments are spot on. I was hoping there would be someone on JW with martial arts skills to help me.

I wondered about ‘Purlicue’ too. I think I will simplify that. I will probs keep snood as my book is set in Florida and they are very common out there especially with…

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Hi,

I have written a short fight scene between a young deputy and a killer. I haven’t written one before and will be grateful for any input.

Cheers Sue X

Thank you Rose.

Hi all,

I would really appreciate a bit of clarity.

I have been told that you shouldn’t use semi colons when writing dialogue. But…I have just started a novel and the author uses them a lot in her dialogue. Is there a right or wrong here?

Cheers Sue

Hi William,

I’m writing a book in British English but set in Florida. My narrative is totally in British English except for signage: Neighborhood Coffee Shop as opposed to Neighbourhood Coffee Shop. My characters have their own voices. My guy from London would say “Piss off mate.” My American would say “Sidewalk.” Just keep it consistent.

Sue

I agree with Ryan. Prowritingaid is a great tool and easy yo use.

Hi Libby,

Thank you so much for the detailed work you have done on my pages; it’s incredibly generous of you and I’m glad you liked it.

I agree with you about the prose. I have just finished a book, and the author has used FIS. It jumped off the page at me. I liked it. Funnily enough, I have read about twelve of her novels & never noticed thi…

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Oh Ellen, your support means the world to me. Bite the bullet girl and post some of yours. What I’ve read so far is great.

Sue X

Thank you so much, Libby. Your advice is always gratefully received. Look forward to hearing your thoughts. I have taken on board your earlier advice about setting the scene.

Sue

Hi All,

Happy new Year.

I would really appreciate some constructive feedback on my thriller. I have been mucking around with the first 3 chapters for ages and this is what I have come up with.

Thanks Sue

Hi Scott, Thanks for posting.

I agree with William, there is far too much telling. There is a book by Sandra Gerth. Show don’t tell. I found this very useful.

I also think you should start your story closer to the action. Perhaps Arthur puts his key in the door and finds it open. Then he discovers Karen’s body. You can drip feed the family dynamics…

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